Real talk. So a lot has happened in the last couple of months, won't go into too much detail since most of it is not relevant anymore. I've overcome a lot of adversities in the past couple of months, and I'm really happy with myself for being so strong!
Two very significant things happened in my life that have changed my entire outlook. First my nephew passed away, it was heartbreaking. We learned that he had some health complications a week away from delivery and were not sure if he would even make it. He fought hard though, and we were blessed to have him in our lives for the few days he had. The second is that I underwent some pretty extensive surgery about a week and a half ago.
As I lay in the hospital bed I thought about everything that had been concerning me for the past little while and realized all those troubles I had, the people I worried about impressing or having in my life were insignificant compared to everything I have gone through. I fought back against depression, anxiety, fear, hopelessness, heartbreak, and my body literally trying to kill itself... If I can get through all of these things, then there is no reason to believe that I can't do anything I put my mind to. Of course I had a lot of support from so many people. I will say that when you are in a tight spot, you really see who cares about having you in their life - and those are the people who are important. Those are the people who will be there for you through thick or thin. But the most important person in the world for me, has to be myself. For too long I put myself aside to please other people and in the past year I had become a completely different person. I didn't feel like myself, because I wasn't taking care of what I needed and wanted.
I remember who I am now, it took me a while but I think I have most of it back lol. I am that confident, sassy, sarcastic but kind person I was. I am that optimistic, fun loving, open hearted girl from before. When I know what I want; I go for it. No hesitation. Because I deserve it. Next year is year of the Goat, that's my year.
So here is my advice heading into the year of the goat 2015; When you want something, go for it. Don't hesitate, but remember to be patient. If it looks like what you want isn't coming it's because that's not the best thing for you right now. Don't hold onto grudges, but don't make the mistake of letting it happen again. Remember although you can't control how other people treat you, you can control how you treat them. Learn, grow, experience, and most of all make yourself happy - whatever that looks like.
As a bonus I'll leave you to think about a little saying I created with a friend "The moment you become obsolete is the moment you have resigned yourself to your fate and circumstance." You don't like something? Change it. Nothing is impossible.